Welcome to the Parent Playbook!

We’re excited to introduce the next edition of the Parent Playbook, created to support, guide, and empower families in every stage of their journey.

This edition is especially meaningful as we celebrate a major milestone for one of our own. Over the past several years, Leslie LeFevre has balanced leading our youth therapy and case management programs, raising three young children, and pursuing her PhD. Today, we are proud to congratulate her on this incredible achievement, as she is officially Dr. LeFevre!

Her dedication, leadership, and passion continue to shape the care we provide and the families we serve. We are grateful for all she brings to our team and this work. Please join us in celebrating this well-earned accomplishment and the impact she makes every day.

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Dear Mental Health Provider,

I can’t get my kids to listen no matter what I do. I take things away from them like video games, tablets, toys, and going to friends’ houses, but as soon as they get them back, they are right back to doing the same thing again. It’s like they don’t care if I take things away and nothing matters to them.
I feel like all I do these days is yell and take things away.

Sincerely,

Frustrated Mom

Dear Frustrated Mom,

First, I want to let you know that you are absolutely not alone in this frustration. This is a very common complaint that parents bring to our services, and I understand how exhausting it can be to feel like you are caught in this cycle. One strategy that I often introduce to parents in this particular situation is taking away the “all or nothing” approach to removing privileges and implementing a reward system for privileges instead.

For example, rather than having your child have full access to video games or taking all access away for negative behavior, try allotting them a certain amount of time each day with the opportunity to earn time based on positive behavior or lose time based on negative behavior. It is important to be very clear with the behavior expectations you have and place a visual reminder somewhere that the child can easily reference. You will want to be sure they understand each expectation, include pictures to enhance understanding, and have a discussion with them to ensure everyone in the household is on the same page.

You also want to start with behaviors that you know your child can be successful with to help them see how the process works, and then gradually introduce more difficult expectations (but always be sure your child is capable of the expectation). For younger children, you will only want to start with 1-2 behavior expectations to start, while older children may be capable of 3-4 to start. An example would be starting off with your child earning 10 minutes of extra time on electronics each time they put their toys away when done playing.

Once your child consistently meets this expectation for about 3-4 weeks, then you can add another behavior, such as asking before taking items, keeping their hands to themselves, or using appropriate language. Each time you add a new behavior, you will want to explain this to them to ensure understanding and give them 3-4 weeks to master each new expectation before adding on another one.

A final tip is to be patient with the adjustment to a new behavior plan and consistent with its implementation. At times, negative behaviors increase before they start to resolve, but stick with it and you will start to see the hard work pay off!

If you are continuing to struggle with managing negative behaviors and feel that you and your child could benefit from extra support, don’t hesitate to reach out for help! Zepf Center’s youth department serves ages 2-22. You can contact us at 419-841-7701 to set up a new client appointment, ask questions, or connect with our team. 

For more serious situations, or if you suspect your child is experiencing a mental health crisis, our 24/7 Crisis Care services are available in person at 2005 Ashland Ave., over the phone at 419-904-2273, or on location throughout Lucas County. 

Thank you for reaching out and trusting us with your concerns. Parenting through challenging behaviors isn’t easy, but with consistency, patience, and the right tools, positive change is possible. Small steps can lead to big progress over time!

Sincerely,

Leslie LeFevre, LPCC-S
Clinical Director of Youth Services